I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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