He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
