that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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