Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
