I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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