I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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