So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
