Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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