Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
