why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
