We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
