The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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