I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
