Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
