"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
