Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
