my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
