you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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