You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
