Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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