he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
