rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize