If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I believe in your delicious
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
