I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
