i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
