Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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