So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
