I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize