I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
