id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Holy shit dude........stairs
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