we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
