shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
