did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
