He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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