you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
