i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
