You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
