and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
