READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
