btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
