Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
