We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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