Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
