Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
