My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize