And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
