I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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