Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He did a backflip because drugs
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
