yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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