i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
