I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
