im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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