You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
