you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dignity is for republicans.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
