Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
