it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
