he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize