real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
