I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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