was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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