I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
