Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
