Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
